Kelly...

So I've been thinking...

I'm afraid that what I wrote in my last blog may have been taken the wrong way by some folks. I'm not saying that enjoying things of this world is bad. Not at all. In fact, I believe that God Himself placed a lot of things in this world specifically for us to enjoy. And He enjoys what we enjoy. So don't think that you have to go off and sell your TV or your guitar or never do anything else you enjoy. That would be crazy.

But what I am saying is that we shouldn't love or desire anything in this world more than God, and we shouldn't let any earthly desires come between our personal trust in Him. And that was more what I was talking about.

Definitely right now for me, I am struggling a lot with my singleness. God has put the desire in my heart to someday get married and start a family. And I know that He has given me a strong desire for female companionship. For someone to share my life with. And it is difficult to want that so badly, but to have to give that up. And it is even more difficult when everyone around you (family and friends) seems to have someone.

The problem for me is not my singleness itself, but rather the fact that I often tend to dwell on it, which prevents me from enjoying the fullness of where God has me right now. I know that God has promised me a wife, but I often want to force the issue myself instead of waiting on Him to bring her to me. And it becomes a problem for me in my relationship with God when I desire the gift more than the giver of the gift. So that is what I meant when I wrote about desiring and loving things of this world more than desiring God.

But on to a lighter subject...

So lately I have been unable to resist musing about what my future wife may be like. And I think I found a few good examples of what I would find attractive. Of course, they are from TV shows.

So I think that tops on my list would be someone like Pam from "The Office." She's the really gentle and caring type and she definitely values the small things. She has a great sense of humor, she's an aspiring artist, and she has a really cute look. She always looks good in casual settings and she cleans up nice when she needs to. And you can tell that she really loves Jim (even if she didn't want to admit it at first). I always thought I would want my relationship with my future wife to be like Jim and Pam's, where we would be good friends first and then slowly develop into more. That way is best I think, since you know so much about the person and you have so much in common. That kind of chemistry can lead to a long and healthy relationship.

I think the second choice on my list will surprise a few folks. Believe it or not, I am really digging Kelly, the hardware store owner on the kids' show "Handy Manny" (you can tell I have young nieces). Yes, I know it's a kids' show and that it's a cartoon, but I don't care. She is adorable!

But I really love this music video about Kelly. Take a watch...



Wow! How can you not love Kelly? She is always nice and polite, she is always glad to help Manny find what he needs, and she has a great laugh. Not to mention great juggling skills. And she is obviously smart, since she owns her own hardware store. Plus, she is a real cutie. She definitely has that cute "girl next door" look going on. And you can tell that there is some great chemistry between her and Manny. If I were Manny, I would ask her out in a heartbeat! No wonder Manny wrote a song about her. I would too!! If I only knew how to play guitar...

So if anyone knows of a nice single girl like Kelly, please hook me up!!

My Prayer...

So let's just say that these past few weeks have been trying for me.

I'm still struggling internally in dealing with my breakup with Julie and I am now being faced with huge changes in my life in a lot of areas. It seems that The Lord is bringing about a lot of changes in my life right now, especially concerning my group of close friends and other areas of "comfort" in my life. The Lord is moving me out of the comfort zone I've had in place for awhile now in order to grow me and move me into a new place in relationship with Him. But the problem is that I don't deal with change very well. I know the end result will be better than where I was before, but getting there is the hard part.

I am really being challenged right now in my relationship with Christ, which is a good thing. I am currently in a catalyst group that is reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. There are definitely a lot of things in the book that are challenging. But I came across a specific chapter last week that I wanted to share with everyone. The chapter essentially challenges those proclaiming to be Christians to take a step back and evaluate their true relationship with (and love for) Christ.

Here is an excerpt from the book that is actually quoted from "God Is the Gospel" by John Piper:

The critical question for our generation - and for every generation - is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?

Wow! What a profound thought!

How long have I thought of heaven just as it is described above... simply as a place where you could have and enjoy everything you ever loved about the world we are currently living in, but with no problems or suffering? To be honest, for a long time I didn't even think of Jesus when I thought of the concept of heaven, other than that He would be "overseeing" things, so to speak. And as long as I could have everything I'd ever enjoyed about this world, I would be content for eternity.

But this challenges the very essence of what many people think that heaven is. Heaven is not just a place that Christians go when they die where they can have everything they've ever wanted. But I would suggest that heaven, by its purest and simplist definition, is living eternally with Jesus. Period.

But I find this text to be very challenging because there are so many things about this world that I love and enjoy. Like how can I imagine a heaven without Chipotle burritos and Ohio State football? Now I'm not saying those things won't be there. In fact, I'm sure they will. But what I am saying is that why is it that when we think of heaven we always think of earthly things we enjoy rather than simply being with Christ Himself? When it comes down to it, our love for Christ should be such that as long as He is there with us, nothing else matters.

And here lies the root of why this is rocking my world right now. Plain and simple, I often love things of this world more than I love Jesus. But why? I mean, after all, Jesus loves me more than anyone else in this world ever could, so much to the point of dying in my place. He knew me and loved me even before I was formed and He loves me even when I choose to be stupid and go my own way. But yet I continue to love things of this world more than Him and I somehow can't manage to simply put all of my trust into His way instead of the ways of this world and what I desire.

For me, it all comes down to surrendering everything to Christ. In the past, I would choose what I was willing to surrender to Him and what I would keep for myself. And I thought that was good enough. But I think that, during this difficult time in my life that is so full of uncertainty, God is clearly training me how to surrender everything to Him and put my trust fully in Him. But it is definitely not an easy lesson to learn!

One of the worship songs at church a few weeks ago says it best:

What can I say...
What can I do...
But offer this heart, O God,
Completely to You?

Indeed, sometimes God leads you to a point, maybe the lowest of lows, where there is simply no other choice than to surrender and stop running away from Him.

Chan closes the chapter with a deeply profound prayer:

Jesus, I need to give myself up. I am not strong enough to love You and walk with You on my own. I can't do it, and I need You. I need You deeply and desperately. I believe You are worth it, that You are better than anything else I could have in this life or the next. I want You. And when I don't, I want to want You. Be all in me. Take all of me. Have Your way with me.

I would pray that if you are like me and that, if this describes where you are in your life right now, this would be your prayer.

New Music...

I've added some new songs to my playlist at the bottom of my blog.

I've had those original 10 songs on here for awhile now and just thought that I should offer everyone something different and new.

There are some fun ones, some classic ones, and a few that I just really enjoy. So I hope you like them.

Enjoy!!